Friday, April 6, 2012


a weird thought came upon me right now... at 4:15am... it seems that most of my deeper thinking comes when im alone... and into the wee hours of the morning. but theres been a whirlwind of new feelings and emotions in my head in the past week. its been absolutely nuts. so often i just dont feel like Evan, and i dont think ive ever been farther away from figuring out who i really am. i dont really mind it either but thats irrelevant. keeping this short and sweet, my point is that i feel like ive been reborn. but then i thought what if i was never born in the first place. or... more logically, what if i was only PHYSICALLY born at 3:33am on february 2nd,1993... but mentally and spiritually born only a few days ago. i think that to truly be born, we have to be free, and truly walking our own path in life. for so long, ive always followed in the footsteps of parents, siblings, friends, role models, whoever. and who hasn't... itd be weird if i didnt do that. but while i physically existed, i was never truly just... me. as uncomfortable as i feel all the time to be finally walking in my own path, it also provides a great sense of satisfaction knowing that i am finally carrying out my life exactly how life is supposed to be carried out. my final thought is: you are not born on your birthday, you are born when there is not a single soul leading you on your path of life.

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