Tuesday, December 11, 2012


over the past month ive just about seeked out every source of inspiration i can get. i think its funny what can inspire us some times. a rejection letter, a girl, ignorance, hate. but when i hit rock bottom a few times, when i really needed the extra kick in the ass to tell myself that this is all gonna be worth it, that yes the journey matters but who are we kidding so does the damn destination, and the destination is gonna be fucking delicious. when i needed it, it was a culmination of all of these things that got me through. it wasn't taking a little bit here and it a little bit there for inspiration, it was its own thing, its own feeling. grudges are one hell of a weapon. its amazing how little a spark you need to set ablaze such a magnificent fire. when you start observing the world and you take everything you don't like in it and take it as a shot against you, you say fuck you im gonna get better. with what i do, with who i am, with what im about, im gonna get goddamn better and you go for it. you will not fail because the act of going for it is the only test. the destination WILL be reached because the destination is the RESULT of the journey. it is not somewhere i am trying to get to along the way. for me its gettin easier. when im all alone and need a little shove to get up, to keep going, to keep fighting, to keep growing, i remember not too long ago when i was all alone, ditched with nobody to go to. i remember how i made something better for myself and how that something better IS the life im living today, so if i dont keep going, if i dont keep giving it my all im not going to ever avenge those tears of that boy who sat alone in his room on friday nights wishin that he could just have a best friend to talk to. i need to keep living his dream because thats all hes got. and when all youve got is a dream, the realities of life don't seem all too real anymore. love becomes distant and you become colder and colder and colder. 

if i dont give it my all, if i dont sacrifice my entire life to being alive, then this life isnt worth living at all. what more inspiration do you need.