Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Billy & Zoë

I've had a lot of friends... "be there" (for lack of a better term) for me in the past month. I usually don't like naming names but I feel in this case it is quite necessary. I mean, Jonny you have no idea how much you keep pushin me to work hard in everything I do. I know you're hurtin too but we're gonna get out of this. Kate, you keep keep inspiring me to get out of central, and you keep planting that vision in my head of being in a location that i want to be in and being happy. Meghan, you always know how to make me laugh when im feeling down and out and you come to me when i really need a good laugh and i love it. Camila, every single day you make me want to go out and make this world a better place and the motivation you put into my soul is unreal. Zach, I don't know your situation all that well, and whether the heat you are taking is deserved or not, you had my back when you didn't have to, and it meant the world to me. Not many people stand up for a friend like you did. Colleen, the fact that only a few people listen to what i write and you're one of em means everything to me. I mean I have 5 people who follow me on this blog. 5 people in this world who really give a damn about the petty shit that i go through, as well as some of the heavier shit. I don't know what you actually read or when you read it, or if you're reading this at all, but that keeps me alive. Jordan, the fact that you try and connect with me on here, and just discuss shit that can actually apply to life is so important to me, and i could not be happier that ive gotten to know you a little better.

However, there are two special souls on this planet that I'm not sure I can ever repay. I was having a really good conversation with Sean about an hour ago, and he told me, that life is like a chair. When you don't have all of your legs, you are bound to fall over, so when you're not strong enough yourself to maintain balance, you have to find those other legs. Billy and Zoë, i realized tonight that you guys are my 3rd and 4th leg, because as both of you know all too well, i couldn't feel weaker right now. Damn it Bill, you've been like a brother to me this whole year and you don't know how much ive needed it not being able to contact my own for the past 2-3 years. I don't mean to get sappy and shit, but all our jokes, and all times we just talked about our girl shit, is just so essential to my existence. You have no idea how much you inspire me for what you do musically, and how hard that pushes me to simply keep an open mind, and learn more, and to dive deeper into everything that write, play, listen to or whatever, and without that im not sure why i would even still want to be here. Jeez Zoë, if someone told me a year ago that we'd be as close as we are, not a single portion of my soul would've believed them. The amount that you relate to me is out of this world, and ive never felt such a deep connection with someone. The lack of judgment you offer along with your open-mindedness has been the most comforting that anybody has ever given to me. But the conversations until 4 in the morning and just relaying thoughts back and forth whenever, just confirming the fact that someone out there is like me and can see on my level. its so nice to not always feel like im losing my sanity at every single moment of the day. You two have saved my life. I have no idea how lost i'd be without you. As lonely as ive felt at times you two have always had my back, and shown your support and thanking you just isnt enough for me. Just know, that whatever my life amounts to, whatever I am able to create, whoever I am able to inspire in my stay here... that's my thank you to you two. That's a direct result of how incredible of human beings you are, and how much you mean to me. You deserve to know, you guys are my best friends, and you're real people, with real values, real emotions, and real hearts. Above all, I love you two to death. I love all of you to death.


  1. this post legitimately makes me want to cry every time I read it.

  2. i sure do hope its always in the good way, but its all deserved nonetheless miss.