Saturday, November 26, 2011


I'm going through a weird time in my life. I can't seem to land the simplest of jobs. School seems to be a struggle for me. I'm getting decent grades now but not with much ease. Yet, when I hear my classmates or my professors talk, the shit they say is so basic and nearly primitive. I consistently feel like I'm two steps ahead of most people yet I have nothing to prove for it. I've got an idea that maybe I'm supposed to take a risk to get to where I am supposed to go. Maybe I am destined for great things and that's why I struggle to simply be 'average.' With so much to not understand, the stress is almost unbearable especially on nights like tonight. I can just be so scared sometimes... I'll figure it out.

There's people who just aren't meant for this world. It's hard to notice them at first but after awhile you can tell who they are. There's a certain distance that they carry with them that most will never see. And when I say this, I assure you there is no reason to be afraid. I mean, we are young people filled with life, yet we're wasting it away like drones simply obeying what is already here for us. Does nobody else see anything wrong with that? Everybody talks about being an individual and being 'free' but when you take a moment to zoom out, everyone is the exact same. You included. Myself included. All of us. We're all afraid to take a risk that we can't back out of. All of us. Some of us just feel lost on the road of life way more often than they should. An emptiness remains. Those who aren't made for this world, aren't here to fall, but they are here to change the world. I'm close. I'm damn close.


  1. First, just want to say how cool you are that you're posting the kind of stuff I usually write down and then crumple up and hide in my desk. Takes some mighty big kahunas.

    Our education system, our world, the way we view success, intelligence, and happiness is so desperately in need of a change. Our society is so set in stone; like you said we're forced into obedience of a system that we may not even agree with, that may not help us accomplish what we want in life.

    My thought is that the reason we get "lost on the road of life" is because it is a one-way street, paved by people DECADES before us, yet we keep wandering off looking for other paths. Finding nothing there, we feel like we've failed something, then begrudgingly keep walking along the paved road. It (to me at least) feels so impossible to pave your own way, to find an alternative, to get down that road to happiness the way YOU want to and not the way everyone tells you to.

    What you said about being two steps ahead really resonates with me, too. It's so difficult to find people (especially here!!!) that "get it". I don't know how to put "it" into words, but you can tell with some people, no matter how book-smart they are, that they just don't "get it", and they sound like fucking idiots.

    But anyway, awesome stuff man; more power to you. Looking forward to reading more.

  2. I don't know if i've ever spoken two words to you in person, and I'm not to happy about it. But I know exactly what you mean when you say people who "get it". I can't explain it either but it's truly an inspiration to realize that people get what I'm trying to say. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  3. You're welcome, dude. It's equally inspiring to hear you saying it.

    I definitely regret not getting to know you.


  5. thank you sir. i could not be more excited to read this.